bugsii

This week’s challenge was to find new (interesting, inspiring) music and listen to it everyday for a week (and sing along).  I finally settled in on Ray Lamontagne’s Gossip in the Grain.  I got quite a few recommendations from people (thanks everyone!) and I spent Monday evening on iTunes listening to snippets of as many as I could before deciding that Ray Lamontagne was the kind of mellow I was in the mood for.  That, and he had a song titled, “Be here now.”  I think that tipped the scales for me a bit.

Here’s how I got to know and love Ray.  Tuesday and Wednesday he played in the background while I worked on my exams.  Then Thursday when I had finished work for the day, I sat at Barnes and Noble and just listened while looking up the lyrics for each of the songs and reading them as he sang.  I like to know lyrics.  It makes me feel like I know the music better.  Then, Friday I played him as I did some more reading for exams, singing along as much as I could remember (which started to distract me from my reading… ).  Saturday and Sunday there was no listening, but I feel like I got to know some new music and that was the point.  My favorite song on the album is, I think, “Winter Birds.”  So lovely.  I was even motivated enough to look up where he was touring.  He’s not touring anywhere near Ohio this summer, but he is touring with David Gray.  Sigh.  Here’s my favorite lyric from this album (and from the song “Be here now”):

Don’t let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don’t try
Don’t let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there’s a strength that lies

Appropriate for this exam process, no?

-Find new (interesting, inspiring) music and listen to it everyday for a week (and sing along)-

This week’s challenge is to find new (interesting, inspiring) music and listen to it everyday for a week (and sing along).  That’s a mouthful.  I don’t remember the last time I bought a new CD (well, okay, that’s out of date) or purchased a full album on iTunes, looked up the lyrics and sang along with the whole thing.  I used to do that, and I used to love it.  In my not-so-awesome days, I did this with Nsync and Britney Spears.  In my trying to be cool to impress Dan days, I did this with Jack Johnson, the Eels and Oasis.  In in-between times I did this with Alanis Morisette and every Jewel album that exists.  As a result, I love all of those albums just because I know them.  They are like old friends.  But, I haven’t done that in a really long time because I’m busy (?) or something… too much headwork and not enough soulwork.  So, I’m searching for some good music to befriend and this week I’ll spend time with it as I write my exams.  Hopefully it will balance things out.  I put a plea on facebook for help searching, but I’ll take it here too.  Suggestions?

Who’s with me?!

This week’s challenge was to give up soda and caffeine for a week.  Wow, this was a sucky challenge.  I mean, okay, not entirely.  I started each morning with some herbal tea, I drank A LOT more water, and I made a homemade iced tea using passion fruit herbal tea and it was delicious and refreshing.  The no pop part was only a little hard.  I craved it when I just wanted something to sip on in the afternoons and when I ate a popcorn or pizza, but overall I felt better without it.  I have to admit, though, that I told Dan that Monday I was going to go to the nearest gas station and get a Big Gulp of Diet Dr. Pepper (but, I probably won’t).  Cutting back though, yes, good idea.

Caffeine, on the other hand, was ridiculous.  Coffee and tea are good for you.  What was I thinking making this part of my challenge?  I guess I was thinking that caffeine is addictive (at least a little bit) and I wondered if I could live a week without it.  Well, it is, and I could, but I lived with a headache that started Tuesday night and ended Saturday.  So, instead of caffeine, I was taking Advil, which means I was probably better off before. I considered breaking my caffeine fast early, but I’m a stickler for rules (even if I make them up myself and they only last a week), and I was kind of curious how long the headache would last.  Wednesday and Thursday were the worst for the headaches; Friday and Saturday were sort of a low-grade headaches.  I’m surprised that caffeine withdrawal can do that to you.  I really only drink about a cup of coffee a day.  Sometimes I also have a cup of tea, but I’m not an all day coffee drinker.  I guess when you mix pop in with that, I usually have about 3 glasses of some sort of caffeine a day.

I love having my cup of coffee in the morning and I really missed plain ol’ Lipton tea (which I really love with a little bit of soy milk).  I’ll be having a glass of one of those tomorrow morning and for every morning after that.  I’m going to try to cut back on pop, but I need my coffee and tea.

Let me begin with last night.  I read and cleaned a good part of the day.  Dan and I head to Ben’s house at around 8 to watch UFC.  We stop for ice cream on the way.  I hang out with Rachael, Megan, Tess, Erin, and Jackie for a bit (a lot of girls in that house this weekend, now that I think about it).  The boys play games downstairs until UFC starts.  At 10, we all head downstairs.  Ben and I make a run to UDF so Ben can get a GIANT cookies’n'cream milkshake.  I get to chat with my cousin Danny who is visiting from Texas*.  The fights were pretty good, except the last one was obviously rigged (you had to see it).  Then, Dan and I get home at around 12:30am and, surprisingly, find a good parking spot.  We approach our apartment and guess what is missing?  Zoe the zucchini plant!  Gone.  My two other pots with Boston lettuce are still there, but Zoe is gone.  I stand in shock for a moment, point it out to Dan.  He stands in shock for a moment.

A few things to keep in mind:  This plant was HUGE (at least 35 lbs.).  I had the plant in the back of my apartment, which is in a courtyard, instead of on my front porch which is on a busy street (and from where my porch chairs were stolen).  My neighbor in the courtyard has her back porch AND front porch decked out with at least ten plants, a table and chairs, and lantern lights.  These are all important facts because they make this situation very puzzling.  A) Who would decide to steal a gigantic plant and then carry it around downtown Columbus?  B) Who came into my courtyard just to steal the biggest plant available?  C) Why didn’t they take the fifty things on my neighbor’s porch that are much prettier and more interesting looking?  Sigh.  It was the zucchinis.

Dan started walking around to see if maybe someone just took it and threw it somewhere nearby.  He also kept saying (and continues today), “That’s so crappy.”  He feels my pain.  I have been watering that plant 2-3 times a day for 2 months, trimming the dead leaves, adding soil, taking it on my anniversary trip!  Okay, I admit it, I teared up a little.  It was sad! It’s like someone stole all of my hard work just as one of those zucchinis was about ready to be eaten!  Anyway, Dan didn’t find anything last night, but this morning I woke up for my run, and started by jogging around my complex for clues.  I didn’t see any on my way out, but as I was stretching on my back stoop, I noticed a Zoe blossom a few feet away.  I picked it up and kept walking in that direction.  I turned a corner that led out to the main road and on the main road, another blossom!  I was hot on Zoe’s trail and I continued on that street for about 5 minutes, looking in trashcans along the way (I felt like I was looking for my lost cat), but no luck.  I suspect that the getaway car was parked on the main street waiting to shuttle my beloved Zoe to a garden in some thief’s yard!  Gah!  I still can’t get my mind around someone stealing this particular plant?  Why?!  I’m sure it was just some drunken jerk who thought it would be funny to carry it around for a while and then dump it somewhere, but I secretly hope it was a hungry person that ate those delicate baby zucchinis.

I was so into my search that we were almost late for church this morning.  Then, we had terrible experience at Mozart’s (except for the pastries, and the little old man playing piano, they were good).  Now, I’m doing more reading while dwelling on my missing plant.  Do you think I should hang pictures around the neighborhood?

*Aw, Danny!  For those of you that don’t know, Danny is my cousin, Beth’s, brother who is the same age as my brother, Ben, so we spent much of childhood together.  Beth and I liked Danny because he would let us force him to play house and he was the baby.  I like seeing Danny.  It takes me back to good times.  But, I’m still mad about the zucchini plant.

-No soda/caffeine-

This week’s challenge is to give up pop and caffeine.  I think I need a clear head as I begin exams and I think this will be a good challenge for this week.  I’m allowing myself herbal tea and water only!  I actually think a cup of coffee a day is good for you, but I can try a week without it.  Pop, on the other hand, has got to go.  I have been thinking I need to kick that habit for years and I don’t know why I have a hard time letting the bubbly goodness go.  There’s nothing good in pop.  Nothing.  Especially not diet pop.  So, here goes nothing.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Who’s with me?!

P.S.  I can’t help but notice that I am on challenge #26, which means we are halfway through the year.  Crazy.

My first homegrown vegetable! I am in awe.

I will call him Zeke!

This week’s challenge was to plan a date with myself.  And plan I did.  Dan was getting home from Arizona tonight, so I figured this would be the best day.

Before I started my solo date, though, I met Ben for lunch for my birthday.  He took me to Northstar in Clintonville near his work.  I have to admit that it felt funny letting him pay for me.  It must be kind of what parents feel when at some point their kids, that they took care of for so long, are able to take them out for a meal.  I’m so proud of Ben.  He works hard and he’s doing so well for himself.  We both ordered Northstar burgers (duh) and had a really nice chat.  I love my little bro.  He also wrote a really nice note in my birthday card and made me cry a little.

Then my real date began.  I decided to visit the Book Loft in German Village.  I’ve been wanting to go there for a long time, but haven’t made the time.  This place totally exceeded my expectations.  First, in case you don’t know German Village, it’s a quaint neighborhood just south of downtown with lots of tiny little brick roads, one way streets and huddled brick houses smushed together in the most adorable way.  People take care of their homes and it’s actually a pretty exclusive place to live.  The Book Loft is on the main drag adjacent to two coffee shops and an adorable church that looks like it belongs in Boston.

The Book Loft

You enter through a gate with a German flag hanging nearby and walk through a flower-filled courtyard toward tables of books that are on sale and benches with people browsing Paula Dean cookbooks and no name romance novels.  Then, you enter the store and are drawn up a short set of stairs to another level where you have to wind through skinny hallways and tiny rooms full of books.  Each are has different music playing and racks of bookmarks and cards mingle among the thousands of books.  Eventually you wind back down and are directed to the other half of the store, 32 rooms in total.

Skinny hallway

The place is heaven, a whimsical, crowded, book-filled heaven.  I ended up with a book for myself and a couple of gifts for people.  Since parking is notoriously terrible in German Village, I was on a two hour time limit and I pushed it right to that limit.  As I headed to the cashier, one last item caught my eye.  A bookmark with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.  It doesn’t sound like a big deal, unless you know that the Wizard of Oz was sort of “my movie” as a kid.  I watched it too many times to count and I loved Dorothy.  There’s a quote from the movie on the bookmark:

If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it.

Hmm.  My next stop was to Bexley, where I planned to go to a movie at the super cute Drexel Theater.

It's so cute, you could puke, right?

Bexley’s another nice neighborhood, like German Village, but ritzier.  It’s where the governor’s mansion and the president of OSU’s house is and it has an adorable downtown right next to Capital University, a small liberal arts college. It turned out that the movie started later than my iPhone app told me, so I had some time to kill.  I found a coffee shop just down the street to read my new book and kill some time.  They had an outdoor patio that was shaded and looked out onto Main Street.

Coffee shop view

It was just as I was sitting down to my coffee that I noticed that I had received an email from my 8th grade teacher (I wrote to her as part of another challenge).  It was a really nice email, and again, I cried a little.  I then spent an hour or so reading my new book by Rick Steves, Travel as a Political Act.  It’s fascinating.  It sort of reminds me of my challenges.  He looks at travel as a way to get out of yourself, to connect with the world, to realize that the way we do things isn’t the way to do things, just a way to do things, and of course, he sees this as having a positive political impact.  It also really got me craving a good “exotic” vacation (where are we going for our 30th, Beth?!?).  About 20 minutes before the movie started, I decided to putter around the neighborhood just behind Main Street.  It’s like a dream.  Old beautiful houses dripping with character.  I spotted three for sale and started plotting.  But, I made it to the movie without acquiring a mortgage.  The movie was called City Island and it’s about a guy from the Bronx that is secretly taking acting classes behind his wife’s back and she thinks he’s having an affair and hilarity ensues.  I really liked it.  When I got to the theater, though, I was the first person there.  I sat poking at my iPhone when an elderly couple walked it (this always happens to Dan and I, we end up at movies with old people, go figure).  The first thing out of the woman’s mouth when she sees me sitting all alone in the theater is, “Like a lone cow in the field.”  I looked back and laughed.  Aside from the fact that I was the cow, I thought it was a pretty accurate description of my day.

When the movie was over, I headed to my third date destination, Whole Foods in Upper Arlington, another cute, fancy area.  There’s nothing I like more than puttering around Whole Foods, looking carefully at their vegetarian options, examining the bulk beans and grains, and gazing at the cases of prepared foods.  I could walk around there for hours, but Dan gets over that real quick.  So, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to eat some delicious pre-made food and browse to my heart’s content.  First, I went to the prepared foods area and got the green plate special for dinner.  It’s a special where you pay for the entree by weight and then you get two sides for two dollars.  It’s a pretty good deal.  Here’s what my “green plate” looked like:

Green plate special

It’s a black bean and rice burger with mashed peas and mint on top, grilled asparagus, and beet slaw.  Beautiful, no?  It’s like food art.  And it was perty tasty too.  The one bite of mint I had took me right back to my Grandpa’s garden and his little patch of mint that Beth and I used to tear up for “real” mint tea.  I read a bit more of my new book as I ate and then commenced Operation Putz.  I ended up with some tempeh, coconut yogurt, red and green lentils, and dates (Dan thinks that was very appropriate).  I also rounded up the ingredients to try a vegan version of Cincinnati chili!  It was a successful putz.  I putzed right up until they had to announce that the store was closing.  Why must it end?  Why?

So, that was my date.  It was great.  I spent time in three different places in Columbus that I have really come to love.  Columbus is growing on me in a big way and I have to remind myself to look around and enjoy how great my life is here, right now.  It was also nice to ask myself what I wanted to do and to let myself do it at my own pace.  I read in a book recently that we should treat ourselves like we would treat someone else.  Essentially, we should be kinder to ourselves.  I was thinking about that last night, if I treated myself more kindly, and I thought of this in a motherly way, so if I was my own mother, what would I encourage myself to eat for a snack?  What would I encourage myself to do to relax?  When would I encourage myself to go to bed?  And on and on.  I tried to do that during my date.  “Go ahead, Laurie, roll your windows down and enjoy the summer air.  Get a meal that nourishes your body.  Have a bit of ice cream, just don’t overdo it, you’ll feel sick later.  Make sure you get enough rest and stop stressing out about your exams.  You’ll do great.”  When I started thinking this way, it started to make me feel peaceful and happy.  I feel like I usually sort of yell at myself, push myself too hard, and overwork myself.  What if I were my own mother?  How would I take care of myself?  I need to start doing that.

So on my way home from my date, I stopped and got that bit of ice cream.  And, just as I was finishing up, Dan called, ready to be picked up from the airport.  And now my day is complete.  It was a good one.

-Plan a date with yourself-

This week’s challenge is to plan a date with yourself. It’s a date to do whatever it is that you want to do and enjoy your own company while doing it. I haven’t decided exactly what it is that I will do, but I have some ideas. Since Dan is gone for the week again, I may as well try to entertain myself. Plus, it’s my last wistful week before I start The Exam Process, which means that this week I’m just doing a bit of planning and leisurely school reading, but for the next four weeks I will most definitely not be able to take myself on any dates. Here’s to celebrating your relationship with yourself. You know you love you.

Who’s with me?!

Remember my zucchini plant, Zoe?  Well, I put her in a bigger pot, and I was afraid that she would wilt and die while we were the Hocking Hills, so I took her along.  And, I don’t know, there must have been something in that country air because she has QUINTUPLED in size (at least) and today she had an enormous orange blossom.  This plant thing is very exciting.  I can’t wait to have a garden someday.  Yay, growing stuff!

This week’s challenge was to practice complete patience.  Insert maniacal laugh here.

Of all of the challenges that I have completed so far this year, this one has been the biggest failure.  I actually thought this “challenge” would be relaxing and less of a challenge, more of a chance to just let go, let things slide off my back, enjoy life, etc.  But, I found out that I have a REALLY difficult time letting something go.  I kept a log of all of the times I lost my patience this week and it was no less than 15 times, and that wasn’t counting when I was driving, which thankfully I don’t do that often.  Now, each of these times weren’t necessarily me going ballistic (actually, none of them were), just me losing my cool, snapping, when I was REALLY trying hard not to.  Paying attention to this though, did help me calm down faster, and recognize that I need to learn how to be patient.  I think I’m getting a teeny tiny wee bit better.  Even Dan said that I was more patient this week than usual (which is sort of embarrassing after having kept track).  But, this is a challenge that I will continue to work on.  In fact, I think I might keep my list going because just making a note of it helped me to snap out of it and then see, collectively, how silly all of the aggravations seemed in retrospect (It became a joke with Dan when I pulled out my iPhone (where I was keeping my list).  Something would happen and I would grit my teeth and silently pull out my phone, or Dan would say, “Do you need to write this one down?”).  And, it pained me to see that so much of my impatience was directed at Dan.  Dan and I are different people and it’s why we work, but it can also be a source of tension.  He is slow and patient, and I like to rush and be efficient.  He is never in a hurry and I am always in a hurry.  I’ve learned that this causes me much more angst than it should.  I also realized that the person that is in a hurry is always the one that is annoyed.  Like on the highway, when you see someone speeding by everyone, getting too close to other cars, zigzagging between lanes, it is he who is stressed, not the ones who sit in the right lane at 55mph and let the wackos fight it out, right?  I think I need to start going 55mph (well, metaphorically).  What am I always in a big hurry for anyway?  Might as well relax and enjoy life.  This all sounds great, but it is much easier said than was done.

Here’s a snippet of my list.  I’m not going to include them all because, well, because I just don’t want to share them all, but here’s a shortened version of the list:

• Lost patience with Dan at Whole Foods because I thought he was trying to buy more food than we needed and I hate wasting food.
• The mangy cat outside of our cabin wouldn’t stop trying to jump on my lap the first morning of our trip and he would not let me relax and read my book.  I yelled at it, but it was stupid and would not leave.  I had to read inside and that made me mad.  Peace in the woods?  Not so much that first morning.
• Snapped at Dan after we did our canopy tour because I thought he was ignoring me because we finally had some cell service and I thought he was being obsessive about checking his phone for all kinds of things.
• I lost my patience with Dan at Walmart because I had just listed the three things we needed and then he asked what we needed.
• I lost my patience with Dan at OU because I finally noticed that I had a giant spot of dirt on my shirt and I asked Dan about it and he had been looking at it all day, but didn’t tell me.  Thanks, honey.
• I lost my patience with Dan when we went on one of our hikes because he was ignoring me and fiddling with the camera for a really long time.  He’s a fiddler.  Oh, how that guy can fiddle.
• I lost my patience in general because we couldn’t find the dang Mexican restaurant that was in the Hocking Hills guide and we drove 20 minutes out of the way TWICE.  Did I mention that I am even less patient when I’m hungry?
• I snapped at Dan at the grocery store because he couldn’t pick a line for check out.
• I snapped at Dan because he took too long taking a bite of my McFlurry (I wanted my McFlurry back!).

Okay, I think that’s enough.  It’s kind of embarrassing to write those down, but what are these challenges for if not to get me out of myself and try to see how I am and how maybe I could be a little better?  Patience, though, patience is not my strong suit.  This is going to take some work.  Looking back at those moments of impatience makes me wonder why I couldn’t just let it go.  Why couldn’t I just let Dan fiddle with the camera from now until kingdom come?  I mean, I have a lot of what I think are good reasons, but mostly I think I just have this need to be in control of situations and when I lose control, I get annoyed.  I have a hard time going with the flow.  I like to make a plan, and then enact the plan.  All deviations are irritating.  We were supposed to be hiking, not standing in the woods fiddling.  Stupid, right?  Yes, I know.  Hopefully I’m learning little by little when a reaction is necessary and when it’s better to let it flow.

God help me.  And God help Dan.