bugsii

This morning, I woke up early to read.  Then, I got ready to go Bergamo, my first academic conference where I would be presenting my own work.  I was pretty calm most of the morning.  It wasn’t until I was on my way there that I started to get nervous.  I tried to just drive, to look at the fall leaves, to remind myself that I should not spend hours worrying about a measly 20 minutes that would be over before I knew it, but you know, it’s hard to do.  When I got to the Bergamo Conference Center, I was delighted to find a small Catholic retreat in a wooded area.  Walking in reminded me of being in St. Joe’s church basement, and I sort of felt at home. It was like this little crazy Catholic summer camp.

Bergamo

I checked in and then went to the session before mine to listen and talk.  It was small (the first session of the conference), but the atmosphere was very different than the other conferences I had attended.  People actually talked to each other.  The presenter had a dialogue with us and I felt really relaxed.  At the beginning, the presenter asked where I was from and I said, Ohio State, and he asked who I was studying under and I said, Patti Lather.  From my left I heard a slightly gasped, “wow.”  I guess I’m still getting used to the fact that she is such a big name in this field.

When I got to my session, I was feeling relatively calm, but for some reason any time I have to present information (especially my own), I start to play this tape in my head.  And the tape says, “This is not interesting to anyone.  You don’t know what you are talking about.  You used that term incorrectly.  Etc, etc.”  So, what happens then, is that I start to talk really fast and I forget to make some of my points.  It’s the eyes on me.  I don’t know why, but it is.  Once I was finished “presenting” though, people asked all sorts of helpful and curious questions about my blogging work and a good discussion was stimulated.  That made me feel really good.  There was another presenter with me and he presented this idea that teaching should be more improvisational and he likened it to jazz improvisation.  It was really interesting.  I like that conference!  I had a good time having nerdy discussions about education!

Next year, I plan to get a room at the Catholic retreat and stay the whole weekend, but this year, I am home in my bed, preparing for Marcy’s wedding.  Tomorrow I leave for Canton for the rehearsal dinner and I am very much looking forward to it!