October 28th

I got up this morning, did my yoga, read for a bit and then headed to my weekly tech meeting with the other Ed Tech students.  It’s really nice to hear what they are working on and how they are working on it.  It is comforting in many ways and I like it a whole lot (just in case Dr. V reads this).

Right after that meeting, I have class.  I love this class.  It’s interesting and challenging and it’s taught by my super-cool/smart new advisor.  I pulled out my notebook and wrote the date at the top.  Time flies right now and I always have to think about what day it is.  I knew that yesterday was October 27th because I had a midterm due that day and it was branded on my brain.  So, if yesterday was October 27th, today is October 28th.  October 28th.  My dad’s birthday.  I hadn’t thought of it until just then and just then, it made me sad.  Sad I forgot.  Sad that I have been forgetting for the past couple of years.  Just yesterday, I was walking on the Oval, feeling sort of insecure and a bit hopeless and for whatever reason, I had this feeling that I needed to call my dad.  It was like that feeling you get when you haven’t talked to one of your parents in awhile and you sort of automatically reach for your phone.  Well, I did that.  I hadn’t done that in a long time.  Forgot, I mean.  Forgot that I don’t have a dad to call.  Forgot that my biggest supporter couldn’t talk me out of my insecurities.  But, what I did, at that moment, the moment I dropped my hand from my cell phone, was called my dad in my mind.

Hey, Dad!

Hey, Bugsy! What’s up?

Oh, nothing, just walking around on campus, worrying about this class I just had.  I didn’t contribute again and I’m really worried that everyone is going to think that I don’t know anything.

Oh, don’t worry about that.  You’re just as smart as everyone else there.

No, I’m not, Dad.

Yes, you are.  Stop worrying about. I know you can do it.

Dad, I’m afraid that the professors have doubts about me.

Oh, no they don’t.  Just remember, they were all students too once.

Alright, I have to go read, but I’m coming home this weekend.  Wanna get pizza on Friday night?

Sure!  Just call when you are heading up.

Okay.

Love you, Bugsy.  I’m proud of you.

Love you too, Dad.

He was so funny like that.  So black and white, so sure of his kids.  The crazy thing was, was that very night in class, my professor told us that he didn’t really expect us to have done the readings this week (which I had done) because, “I was a student once myself and I’m realistic about these things.”  Dad, you are a genius.  Oh, and happy birthday.  Today, you would have been 59, and boy is that OLD.

Kidding.